


I need you

by Ricky4479



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Ruby & Sapphire & Emerald | Pokemon Ruby Sapphire Emerald Versions
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Archie and Maxie were married before RSE/ORAS, Fight me on that, I have no excuses, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Its a lot, M/M, Maxie is having a hard time, Self-Harm, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29384154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ricky4479/pseuds/Ricky4479
Summary: The great leader Maxie has some dark secrets that creep up from time to time.
Relationships: Mentioned Archie/Maxie
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	I need you

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for: -Alcoholism  
> -Self Harm  
> -Referenced Child Abuse  
> -Referenced Sexual Abuse  
> -Referenced Drug Addiction
> 
> I think that's it.  
> I found this in my docs and thought why not post it. It really only is a short vent fic I wrote while dealing with my own shit and needing an outlet, so, enjoy this (?).  
> I headcanon that Maxie went through some very traumatic shit during college and also is a college drop out who then started working for Team Rocket where he met Archie, his soon to be boyfriend, husband and eventual worst enemy.

Maxie cracked the whiskey bottled open, keenly aware how it was his second one today. It had been a mistake to even buy them in the first place. He should have told someone.   
Then again, how do you explain to your goons that their oh so mighty leader Maxie was a recovering alcoholic whose brain fog had crept back.  
Maxie had to concentrate, he had to get through these pages upon pages of research before he could give himself even a small moment of peace. Yet, the way he started shaking earlier in the day was a pretty good indicator that getting through them wouldn’t be possible without some sort of help.   
He knew the shaking wasn’t coming from a sudden, unexplained temperature drop in his room, as it was at a constant 27°C (or 80°F), mostly because of Maxies inability to retain body heat, and also because when he looked into the mirror in the adjacent bathroom to his quarters, he could see the visible drops of sweat on his face.  
Maxie wasn’t someone who sweat easily, not even when he was having a fever. So this wasn’t one, Maxie having fevers also felt a lot different. This was something else, something Maxie sadly knew too well.  
He had dealt with it over the past years, especially during his relationship with a certain pirate, but ever since his divorce (something Maxie forbade everyone from even alluding to) old cravings and habits flared back up. Not only did he begin to pull endless allnighters, but for the first time since a few years after college, Maxie craved alcohol so badly, without even thinking about it he had driven to the nearest liquor shop.  
His taste buds remembered his alcohol of choice well and Maxie almost gagged at how easy it was for him to walk up to the counter, buying 5 bottles of hard liquor he fully intended to drink in one night without his stern facade breaking. Even though the last time he was in a similar situation was almost 15 years ago, Maxie felt nothing. No fear at what others might think of him, no shame for buying so much at once, not even the slightest concern when he opened the first one in the car, taking a swig to simply make his eyes be able to focus again.  
During the drive home one swig quickly turned into a good chunk of the bottle and before he even was back inside his quarters (no one dared ask where Maxie was or why he was smelling of whiskey all of a sudden) the first bottle was empty.  
Sitting down at his desk and drinking glass after glass of the amber colored liquid while working had become a second nature to him in college. He was proud of himself when he was able to stop drinking altogether, dropping his terrible coping mechanisms when he was with Archibald, but now, since the other man decided to go against Maxie, the Magma leader couldn’t care less.  
The second bottle emptied out faster than Maxie wanted it to. The shaking had subsided by now, yet Maxie somehow couldn’t concentrate on the work ahead. His mind was flooded with pictures of Archibald, memories of the many happy moments they had spent together, of the many heated nights spent behind closed doors and sometimes even in not so private settings. Memories of their wedding, how good Archibald had looked in an actual suit, how he had cried when he saw Maxie walking down the aisle. How they had proposed to each other at the same time because that was just how they were, idiots.   
Yeah. They were idiots, but they were idiots in love.  
Maxie felt tears roll down his face.  
Nononononononononono-   
It was over. All that was over and it was better that way.  
Another bottle opened, this time the glass was fully forgotten.  
Archibald was gone, off to chase his own stupid plan. He was nothing but the enemy. Maxies enemy.  
He was once Maxies lover. The light that kept Maxie going. The piece of driftwood that kept him from drowning.  
Maxie had loved him once.   
He still did.  
He couldn’t think about this. Not now, not ever again. It was over. It was over.  
Over. They divorced. Archibald was gone and it was better that way. Maxie had to concentrate on his plan, his world image.  
His world without Archibald in it.  
Something smashed. Maxie looked around confused, realizing in his dazed state he had let the almost empty bottle drop from his hand and it shattered on the hardwood floor.  
Shards of glass were scattered around Maxies feet and the redhead decided to pick one up. It was a slightly bigger one.  
Almost on autopilot, Maxie rolled his sleeve up, pressing the shard to his skin and hissing at the sharp pain. The blood smearing his arm dripped down, soaking Maxies coat and staining his chair. He’d have to clean that.  
‘So what does a little more blood matter?’ Maxie thought, pressing the shard back to his skin, watching it open his arm smoothly. His arm quickly went numb and Maxie could have sworn he even went over old scars.  
He never understood why the sight of his own blood calmed him, but this was another of those terrible coping mechanisms Maxie had tried to get rid of.  
He wasn’t successful.  
Maxie didn’t know how long it went on for, all he knew was he was functioning on autopilot. After some time he simply got up, his work fully forgotten at this point, got the first aid kit from his bathroom and patched his arm up, making sure no one would be able to see the bandages beneath his sleeves. The last thing he needed was people asking about something he couldn’t explain.  
He grabbed the last two untouched bottles and layed down on his bed, staring at the ceiling without any coherent thought forming.   
His eyelids were heavy, but sleep wasn’t coming over him. Great. Now he couldn’t even try to sleep this off.   
Sitting up, his arms almost giving out, the throbbing pain in his left arm not exactly helpful, Maxie opened the second to last bottle and took another swig.   
He still loves Archie. He had never stopped loving that stupid bastard. Maxie almost gagged again at the memory of their divorce creeping into his mind, how willing he had been to sign the divorce papers without even reading them first. Being away from Archie was enough for him at that moment. They had always fought about the most minor of things but it was just their way of communication. Yelling at each other and calling the other something derogatory was their version of loving the other. Playfighting was their love language. That and sex. By Arceus the sex. Sex with Archie were some of the best fucks of Maxies life. The pirate could turn from sweet and caring to rough and merciless in the fraction of a second and oh how much Maxie loved having Archie pound into him hard.   
It could go the other way as well. There were times where Maxie simply couldn’t do it, the repressed trauma washing over him being too much and although he was no stranger to crying during sex (especially when Archie was being extra rough, fucking out whatever anger had stored up over the day), the moment Maxie had said their safe word, the sex was fully forgotten and Archie did everything in his power to make Maxie feel loved, seen, safe.  
Archie was everything Maxie could have ever wished for. Archie was Maxies soulmate. Archie was perfect and Maxie had let him go so easily.   
Maxie hated himself for that. He was sure Archie hated him as well. To be blunt, he wouldn’t blame the pirate. Maxie was a horrible person, deserving of whatever it was he was going through right now. Deserving of everything bad that had happened to him. Deserving of his parents locking him into their house, forbidding him from even interacting with the outside world. Deserving of the emotional neglect from his parents, or the quick to follow physical abuse. Deserving of being nothing but a cocksleeve, a sex toy for most boys from his college. Deserving of being thrown out of college after failing all his classes. Deserving of being homeless after that, of being a nobody, of having nothing to his name but trauma, alcoholism, a drug addiction and being able to deep throat 10 inch cock like it’s nothing.  
What he wasn’t deserving of was Archie saving him. Of Archie looking past every wall Maxie put up, of Archie working hard to see small glimpses of the real Maxie, a person Maxie was sure not even he knew. He wasn’t deserving of Archie never giving up, no matter how horrible Maxie was to him. He wasn’t deserving of Archie.  
Archie was such a wonderful person and Maxie was simply disgusting.  
Maxie didn’t know when he emptied the last two bottles, nor when he had started crying or when he curled in on himself in the middle of his far too large bed.   
He still loves Archie.  
He ruined it.  
Archie was gone and it was Maxies fault.  
Always his fault.


End file.
